I Medicate Mine with Little Act of Kindness to Myself

My attitude towards life has always been simple; live within my means, give to others, love your family and partner, and inspire others.

The truth is, I'm struggling with life. Because although my attitude towards life is simple, there was no room for happiness.

Happiness is only real when shared.

Last night after a night out, I was belligerent with my best friend. For no apparent reason, I clammed up and refused to talk. My heart was heavy and my chest was congested. Through out the ride, he kept asking me "What's wrong with you?"

Everything.

I shut my eyes and let the moment passed. When i reached my house, I said "I feel alone".

And i disembarked the vehicle with only my shadow.

People underestimate loneliness. You can be in a roomful of friends yet you can still feel alone. You can be in India for goodness' sake yet you can still feel alone.

And there's a danger when you succumb to your loneliness. You make mistakes and you hurt people.

But this is my life. I cannot control my struggles but i can control what makes me happy. I needn't bother with other people's expectations but my own.

Pretty soon I might be writing as a third person. I read somewhere that writing as a third person helps to channel your authentic voice. Because looking at yourself from the outside helps with the process of self identification.

Some people medicate a broken spirit with alcohol and substance.

I medicate mine with little act of kindness to myself.